Thursday, January 23, 2014

Grey Clouds of Doubt


Grey Clouds of Doubt


I could walk ten miles
Even more
They would still be there
Threatening
Hanging there
Just waiting to rain
Itching to drop scratchy cats
Barking dogs and leaden buckets
Hailstones too

Yeah
Hail stones like to pound
The urge from my skull
Pound it hard
Make me quiet this truth
That threatens just as hard
Pushes just as insistently
Works its way upward
Heated by faith and need

Yup
A gush of uncensored feeling
Passion and frustration
Couched in creative energy
Roiling out like a geyser
Against the status quo
Grey blah clouds
Weighing me down

Weighing me down

Weighing

Me

Down




...shared with the writers at Poetry Jam ...

11 comments:

  1. I have no idea what your dark cloud is, but this one has me nodding in agreement over my own. Intense writing.

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  2. I understand well what you mean here. There ARE times when there are clouds hanging above a person that just STAY there even though one 'walks ten miles.' In fact they are with a person day or night. In sun as well as in rain! Hopefully eventually a person learns a way of dealing with those clouds, rendering them helpless, telling the truth (I think of the saying 'the truth will make you free'), or whatever needs to be done to get rid of their toxicity. A deep poem here, Susan.

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  3. Your forceful words and the form of your poem certainly convey heaviness and discomfort. Very dark clouds can indeed make us feel heavy and helpless. Thankfully, eventually, they disappear.

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  4. Dark Clouds railing against the status quo. I can identify with this one. Well expressed.

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  5. oh i feel you...you def described the grey that can invade our lives and hold us down...keep us from experiencing the sunshine in our lives...hard to break free of sometimes as well....

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  6. This is very mystical and yet, inward looking. There is tremendous inner turmoil conveyed through the clouds. I get a sense of something akin to a cathartic release ready to burst in a freeing downpour. But will it come? That question hangs, like the grey clouds of doubt, in the repetition of “weighing me down”. A very intense, visceral piece of writing, Susan.

    And thank you so much for joining the very select (smiles) - but dearly regarded - circle of follower members of my blog. I’m looking forward to reading more of your writing.

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  7. Nice, Susan. I especially like:

    A gush of uncensored feeling
    Passion and frustration
    Couched in creative energy
    Roiling out like a geyser
    Against the status quo
    Grey blah clouds
    Weighing me down

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  8. Those clouds hang heavy in your words! It feels so good though when those grey clouds of doubt pass and the sun shines through!

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  9. I liked the interplay of figurative versus literal in your poem and the structure of it...

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  10. You convey a mood very well here--and what an amazing photo to go along with it. Each stanza could almost stand alone -- well done.

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  11. Dark and intense and written with dramatic, understated emotion. Wow.

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