Friday, January 25, 2013

Breaking the Rules - Poetry Jam

Image: ‘The Alarm- Crows’ -  Richard Copello


Midwinter Lune

Crows perch high
Sun beats blue on black
Grey branches sway

Breeze turns cold
Beaks part and chortles rise
Wings spread wide

Branches click
Time to disappear
Man noise comes

Swooping sounds swish
High-pitched cries echo afar
Black feet dangle

Five black crows
Streak a bleak winter field
Looking for warmth

… Susan M-Lindquist – 1/24/13

This lune poem is a contribution to Poetry Jam's weekly writing exercise ... this week's task is to choose a type of form poem and change it up slightly, breaking the rules a bit. Smack dab in the center of this poem is a change from word count to syllable count ... form interrupting form, so to speak. Click here to see what others have contributed ... break your own rules and write something too.



  1. Susan... I enjoyed your poem and the way you broke the rules!! Ha, everything changes for crows when Man comes, doesn't it?

    So glad to have you post with us here at the Jam!

  2. I like this poem about the crows. I think crows are good at breaking rules as well--or maybe just good a vocalizing their disapproval of the rules! Or is it man who breaks all the rules? I am impressed that you did this by breaking the form rules so subtly.

  3. ha i am all for breaking form...i dont play well by poetic rules...crows and blackbirds have interesting symbolism in them as well...usually a bad omen, or at least they seem portrayed that way...

  4. ...ha, i noticed twisted the Kelly lune and i liked it... your lunes speak wide of emotions & ways to look at those crows... the last one says about company constrated to the image of crows as bringer of bad charm & death...smiles...

  5. Lovely moment captured in verse. Like your image of the crows looking for warmth at the end. It gives them a positive representation. Interesting that you wrote this on Burns Day in celebration of the life of poet Robert Burns here in Scotland. Your empathy reminds me of Burns' poem "To a Mouse". That can only be a good thing :)

  6. You broke the rules ~ beautifully.

  7. I really enjoyed your poem! Man noise comes- I like this word choice of man approaching.

  8. love the result of you breaking the rules, Susan!

    thank you for participating at Poetry Jam and so sorry for the delay in visiting you!