Thursday, January 17, 2013

Seed of Doubt - Poetry Jam

Seed of Doubt

I held that hand you offered
Warm and strong it was
I looked at dirty knuckles
Fresh from our garden chores
The sun was strong
Sweat beads on your wrist
Misted wiry hairs 
A glass of lemonade? Yes!
One hand brushed damp bangs
Up and away from my eyes
The other dropped my hand
Urging me toward the kitchen
I sat at the table
Legs sticking to the chair vinyl
A cold glass rested before me
A cold hand dropped to rest
Draped between my knees
I freeze
Wait! Cookies!
Your back was turned
I dashed
The screen door clattered
The sun was blinding
My sneakers slapped the sidewalk
The postman cursed my rushing by
I didn't care
My mother called and I ran

Writer's Note:
Often when we are in danger or feel threatened, the experience is remembered in an almost photographic manner. Images and sensations are stilted and bounce back willy-nilly to create the incident. They bounce back square before your eyes or at the center of your forehead, as you close eyes to bring things back. Thus is the incident of my childhood ... was his touch innocent and gentle or was it dangerous? I will never know for sure. I reacted from a gut reaction, having been drilled by parents and teachers early on to flee danger at the first inkling.

Later, I questioned myself. I never, though, allowed myself to be alone in Neighbor John's presence again. He touched my shoulder or guided me through activities in his yard (right across from our yard), but always when Mother was hanging laundry or brothers were playing whiffle ball or friends were jumping rope on the sidewalk nearby. I learned to be cautious, but I always wondered if I really needed to be. It makes me sad to think that I had to be that way with him, but I did.

This poem is part of Poetry Jam's weekly writing exercise ... this week the theme is 'danger' in any of its manifestations. Link to see what others have shared. 


  1. ooo this had a rather creepy feel to it...and even if you were wrong you have gained more in escaping than what you would have got being there...def listen to those feelings....better safe than sorry...

  2. You have written this poem vividly, including the details as the scene happened. I understand writing in photographic images as you did about an event from the past. It works wonderfully for this poem. I do think you were right in assessing the danger correctly. You felt it in your gut! And I believe in trusting those feelings.

    You commented on my poem. I don't know if the other friends assessed the boat situation as dangerous. Actually I don't remember that we discussed danger or not as we walked home. One of the three other friends was quite a flirt. I think it was she who got us onto the boat in the first place. I never told my parents this story, and I would guess that you didn't tell your parents either. I would now...if they were alive. So glad you discovered Poetry Jam!

  3. This is scary ... you did the right thing by running away !!!

  4. This is a scary situation with your neighbor and one does look back and wonder about these things. Better safe though. Wondering about the meaning of buch in your blog title. I will go search your bio and see if it gives a hint.

  5. Listen to your instincts. That what you did. And it's better to wonder about it, than to be sorry about it.

  6. Frightening situation! The best option was to avoid it. That was the right thing to do, Susan. One couldn't know what was to be the worst that it might lead to!


  7. ...sometimes innocence make us unconscious of the people we met or passed by our side and get easily befriend 'em not knowing their true intentions.... and indeed quiet a danger to note with... if you hadn't ran from mum's call back then what would might happen next was hard to predict.... i enjoyed your poem a lot, thank you... smiles...

  8. Yes, there are those moments in time ~ freeze-framed forever in our minds. Your poem is beautifully composed ~ a most difficult topic. (you were wise to run)