Saturday, March 1, 2014

Poetry Jam II - Haiku



Commuting Life II - Haiku

I sit like soft lint
The fabric of life streams by
Trains pull strands away

Souls in constant flight
The breath of thousands mingle 
Rise with blackened smoke

Rise at the train's rush
Turn to eyes that crane to see
Anonymity


... a variation on the theme of 'trains' ...
...shared at Poetry Jam


7 comments:

  1. Interesting haiku variation go commuting life. I like the idea of 'souls in constant flight', all of them, every day.

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  2. Your third haiku really makes me feel the anonymity of one who takes train journeys. All sit side by side, unknown to one another.

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  3. I like "the breath of thousands mingle." Are you printing a book? Because if you are, I want to purchase a signed copy!

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  4. Perfect:
    "eyes that crane to see
    Anonymity"
    Eloquent.

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  5. Wow, sitting like soft lint is such a creative image and one I would not have thought of! Nice. I enjoy haiku.

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  6. I really love this from the lint to the anonymity.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Kat. My big point here WAS lint (one syb) to anonymity (multi). Thanks for getting it. Let's face it sometimes we feel like nothing more than a lousy piece of lint, sitting passively as the entire world whirls by ... and looks back ... and misses us. UGH.

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