Friday, May 31, 2013

Letting Go - Poetry Jam

Letting Go

A thumb unfurls
Fingers slack
The other grips
Pulls a bit back

The arms are near
The steps in sync
No words to hear
No gazes meet

The city hums
The street is loud
The cars rush on
The masses crowd

One turns aside
Speaks a word
Breaks the stride
Wrenches free

The other stops
Looks on until
She turns a corner
Starts up the hill

His vision mists
He moves along
The motion assists
The letting go

The letting go
Is the easy part
Though moving on
Breaks the heart

She will come back
The mantra starts
She will come back
The paces continues

She will come back 
She will come back
She will come back
She will come back ...

Parting from a loved one is not always saying goodbye forever, is it ?  And yet, parting from a loved one is so unsettling sometimes. It leaves one off balance and unsure and emotionally panicked.  The rhyme pattern in this poem seemed unbalanced when I put it together, but on thinking about ‘saying goodbye’ I left it (for the time being) so as to convey that back and forth, topsy-turvy feel of parting when you don’t want to part …

This poem is being shared with the writers that contribute to Poetry Jam - this week's theme is one of 'goodbyes' ... I hope you read others' poems and share your thoughts. 


  1. Enjoyed this, Susan. There is always hope of a return to those we say goodbye to...

  2. Susan, this breaks my heart really. I sense that it is over.....that she will not come back....that the good-bye is final. I hope I am wrong, but I just have a sense...

    Thanks for taking part in Poetry Jam and for sharing such a heart-felt poem.

  3. oy....letting go is hard...i feel him standing there watching her go and it stings...oy...been there...very nice write susan...

  4. Topsy-turvy is just how it feels!! I enjoyed this .......

  5. Oh, the mantra! So sad since she seemed to just keep on going. I agree with the way you left the rhyming pattern makes me feel the sad parting even more.

  6. Beautifully written and the feeling of a loss that can never be found again.

  7. Susan, this is beautifully penned, the scene, emotion and the rhythm-I really enjoyed this:-)

    1. Thank you, Sarah. I'm glad that the rhythm worked. About that mantra ... you know how when you're walking, you sometimes begin mentally counting to yourself? Your steps become a series of 4's ... that is where the mantra came from ... she will come back, 1,2,3,4. Yeah, so ... I was just thinking that as I read your comment, so thought I'd respond.

  8. The ending gave me chills. Mantras can be like charged wishes, you convey that so well in this piece. Nicely written.